I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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