Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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