so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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