she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
