i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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