They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
