The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
