these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
