It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize