This girl is more easily done than said...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
