Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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