So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
