So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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