My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The adults are the big ones right?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
