Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
