guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Mom said you looked used
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
