if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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