good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
