my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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