I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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