Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I lost the right to judge tonight
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
