So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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