I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
