I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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