Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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