if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
