next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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