the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
