he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I would ride that face into the sunset
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
