We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
