i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
