How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Your cock deserves a montage
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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