sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
