Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
