In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
