Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
