I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize