I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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