do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
