ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I will be naked everywhere
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
