its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
