we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
