So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
