did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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