i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I love you.
Bad choice
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