uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
