He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i've created a new STD.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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