I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
