I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
