I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
