He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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