its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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