How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
