Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize