It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
