FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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