i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
