Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
