i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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