Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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