In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
